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Self deception Self deception is part of the process we use to relieve cognitive dissonance. It is part of a larger pattern of self-justification. Self deception happens when we fail to respond to an urge to help another person or to relieve someone else's suffering. When we fail to act on the urge, we create a situation where the image we have of ourselves as good, helpful people is inconsistent with our failure to help them. Since we have created cognitive dissonance, we feel compelled to rationalize the discrepancy between how we see ourselves and how we acted. To relieve the discrepancy, we start to place blame or judgment on the other person that justifies our failure to help. For example, "they wouldn't help me, so I really don't need to help them." In the moment that we justify our failure, we deceive ourselves. We become self-deceived, and we begin a negative relationship spiral with the other person. Contributor's Note This work is derivative of work created by the Arbinger Institute in the book Leadership and Self-Deception.

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http://www.arbinger.com

Contributed by recoveringengineer on September 20, 2008, at 00:59 AM UTC.

PLEASE VISIT THE CONTRIBUTOR'S WEBSITE

Resolving Conflict in Teams Blog Blog on team conflict resolution www.principledriven.com/blog

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